Meet My Team

I am amazed at how God continuously blesses me with the opportunity to be a part of some amazing teams and communities of believers.  The Tanzania Team was no exception.  Throughout this experience you get really close to people really fast.  I have found that the more open and vulnerable I am willing to be, the more I get out of being a part of a group with a common purpose.  We laughed (LOTS), talked (okay, I asked 1 gajillion questions and my teammates graciously answered), cried, encouraged, and prayed our way through this experience.  I would love to introduce you to my amazing team (From left to right):

Fred Miller: Trip Co-leader, Medical Clinic Logistics, Tippy Tap Engineer
Jordan Robbins: Fellow bootleg pharmacist
Amanda DeMauro: Eye Clinic Assistant
Mari Beth Poor: Trip Leader, Pastoral Training Leader, Blogger Extraordinaire
Me: Bootleg Pharmacist, Child Hugger
Beth Shires: Medical Clinic Vitals
Zach Whiting: Medical Clinic Floater/Helper/Murse, Team Medic, Thigh Purse Wearer
Clayton Davie: Medical Clinic Trainer for 5 Village Trainees, World Traveler who kept us all from ending up in Thailand with no luggage
Victoria Brake: Eye Clinic Assistant, Roomie
Danny Rausch: Medical Clinic Vitals, Videographer, Worship Leader

I have much love and respect for each of these new friends and I am excited to see how God will continue to use our experience to stretch, challenge, and change us.

I Left My Heart In Africa

On May 20th I met my nine teammates at the Birmingham airport at 5:00 a.m. to set out on an adventure that would change my life.  If you know me, then you know that I am a verbal processor.  I need to talk through things to process them, so I decided to resuscitate my blog in order to do this.  I would love for you to join me as I unpack everything I saw, experienced, felt, and learned over the past 12 days.  I will do my best to remember everything so I can give you a small peek into what God has done in and through my team through this incredible experience.  Thank you all for your prayers and support.  I took a little peace of each of you to Africa with me.  I hope I was able to love the people of Tanzania half as well as I have been loved in my life by each of you!

Boasting in Weakness

I was reading my Bible this morning and came across such a great lesson from Paul.  At one point Paul found himself with a very frustrating and uncomfortable thorn in his flesh.  He asked God three times to remove it, but God refused replying, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”  Now Paul could have been frustrated, mad at God, felt sorry for himself, etc.  But Paul so beautifully responds, "Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me." 
In my book this week I also read "Many make the mistake of approaching weight loss armed with sheer will-power and self-determination.  Even though they have committed Philippians 4:13 to memory, the emphasis and enthusiasm is directed toward, 'I can do everything.'  Unfortunately, the part of the verse that says 'through Him who gives me strength' becomes little more than an afterthought."
Instead of boasting in my weakness and admitting that I am incapable of self-control and self-discipline while relying solely on His strength, power, and grace I tend to beat myself up and throw in the towel at the first mistake.  God created us to be dependent on Him, but all too often we either become dependent on other people or things that will certainly fail us or at the opposite end of the spectrum we pride ourselves in being completely independent not needing help or support from anyone or anything.  I tend to swing back and forth between the two and neither has led to happiness or success.  I am looking to stay in that happy balance smack-dab in the middle where I am wholly dependent on Him and admitting that I cannot do this on my own will and determination.  Why is it that we would be so quick to pray over cancer in our body or an alcohol addiction, but we feel weak praying over our eating and exercise habits? 
Whatever your "thorn" is, seek God and His strength at this time.  Ask Him what lesson He is trying to teach you by allowing the thorn to cause discomfort and frustration.  Let's boast in our weakness so that we may fully understand and experience Christ's amazing power! 

Start and Stop... Week 1

One thing I have learned from years and years of dieting is that I tend to set myself up for failure if I try to cut out and/or start too many things at one time.  For example, if tomorrow I cut out all carbs, caffeine, and sugar AND also decided to start working out for one hour a day five days a week, I would most likely last until tomorrow around 9:00 a.m.  Which is why I have learned that baby steps are the key.  That being said, I am going to tackle one thing a week to start doing and one thing to stop doing. 
For this first week I have decided that my "START" will be to start tracking again using the myfitnesspal app.  I know it works.  I have used it pretty consistently over the past 20 months, but have fallen out of the habit these past 2 months. 

My "STOP" this week will be to stop drinking anything other than my morning coffee (can't give that up... my 7:15 class would agree) and water.  I have slid into the habit of looking for an afternoon pick me up with a Diet Coke and an evening calm me down with a (large) glass of wine.  Neither of these things are awful, but I have become too emotionally attached to both :)

Accountability

I'm back.  Yes, I know it's been about a year since I have blogged, but here I am.  And I'm prepared to be uncomfortably honest, transparent, and real with you.  So get ready! 

As you all know I have a constant battle that can frustrate me to no end.  Over the past two months I have unfortunately been losing this battle, but I am tired of losing, so I am waging war and calling on you to help.  My battle may look different from yours because mine comes in the form of cupcakees, cheese dip, and chocolate.  Since puberty when my body totally turned on me and started collecting pounds like a hobby, I have struggled with my weight.  I have been as heavy as 271.4 pounds (yes, that is the exact number that was seared into my brain when I vowed that come hell or high water I would NEVER see that number again) and as low as 175 pounds and everywhere in between.  My weight constantly fluctuates based on whether or not I am putting forth effort in the battle or giving in to the temptation of Gigi's and vowing to start again on Monday. 

I worked my butt off over the summer.  I was at the gym pretty much daily and tracked my food and calories... and lost about 3 pounds, which only discouraged me.  Then I had my birthday and school started back and football season came and the excuses quickly piled up and now here I am welcoming back those 3 pounds and about 7 of their closest friends. 

But, today I am putting my foot down and resolving to go back to what I know... eat well, eat less, and move more.  I have started reading a book that provides 50 days of encouragement, challenge, and renewal of the mind.  The first thing the book recommends is finding an accountability partner.  That is where you come in to play.  I figured why just one, why not as many people as I can round up to challenge, encourage, and push me toward my ultimate goal of being healthy, strong, and victorious in winning this battle.  I would appreciate your accountability, especially over these next 50 days.  A text to ask if I've been to the gym.  An email to remind me to put down the donut.  Encouragement that the Lord has given you in your own battle.  Whatever it may be, I would appreciate it.  I will also use my blog as an outlet to hold myself accountable by sharing successes and challenges.  Please feel free to share this with anyone else you know that struggles with their weight. 

I am proud of how far I have come over the past 20 months, but still have more to go!  The picture on the left was taken in September 2011 and the picture on the right was taken in August 2013.

Eyes on Him

One of my favorite people in the Bible is Peter.  I can relate to him a lot more than I would like to admit.  He tends to say and do the wrong things.  He can make poor decisions out of fear or insecurity about what others will think of him.  But, Jesus loves him and believes in him even when Peter cannot see that for himself.  One of my favorite stories in the Bible is when Jesus walks on the water (Matthew 14).  Peter struggles with faith at times, but later is the first to proclaim that Jesus is indeed the promised Messiah.  I can relate.  I feel like over the past few years I have been on a faith journey and I feel like, just like Peter, there have been times when Jesus has called me to back up my words with action. 

 

"Then Peter called to him, “Lord, if it’s really you, tell me to come to you, walking on the water.” “Yes, come,” Jesus said.  So Peter went over the side of the boat and walked on the water toward Jesus."

Jesus calls him out of the boat and he obeys.  But, his faith quickly waivers when he feels the wind pick up and sees the sea begin to churn at his feet.  I imagine he looked down to see how bad the waves were.  He took his eyes off Jesus and immediately began to sink. 

“But when he saw the strong wind and the waves, he was terrified and began to sink. “Save me, Lord!” he shouted.

How many times do I do this?  Circumstances get hard.  People disappoint me.  Things don't work out like I thought they would.  The wind and waves pick up strength and I lose my focus.  It is so hard sometimes in the midst of life's storms to remain focused on Him and keep stepping forward in faith, putting one foot in front of the other.  Can you relate?  Are you in the middle of a storm and have lost your focus?  Be encouraged!  There is hope!

"Jesus immediately reached out and grabbed him. “You have so little faith,” Jesus said. “Why did you doubt me?”

Don't you think it would have been easy for Jesus to fold him arms and shake his head at Peter for a few seconds?  But he is full of mercy and rich in love.  He immediately grabbed him.  He does the same for us.  He sees us floundering in the middle of the waves that threaten to pull us under and He reaches out and grabs us.  He reminds us that we have no reason to doubt that He will see us through, because He has done it before and He will do it again.  His promises ring true.  If you are in the middle of a storm, reach out and take His hand.  Refocus on his hope and strength to see you through.  If you aren't in the middle of a storm, you will be so remember when the wind starts to whip and the waves start to get bigger and bigger, keep your eyes fixed on the One who will see you through. 

Light Up the Sky

 

If you don't live in Alabama, then you have missed out on some of the most beautiful sunrises and sunsets.  At the start of this new school year I was participating in the 21 Days of Prayer through my church, which meant I was leaving my house at 5:30 a.m.  For anyone who has never gotten up that early, it is dark.  Like, really dark.  But one of the perks of leaving my house so early was getting to see some of the most beautiful sunrises.  One morning as I was running late and feeling overwhelmed by what the day ahead would entail I felt like God was whispering to me, "Enjoy this quiet moment and look at the sky.  I painted this for you."  Another day the song "Light Up the Sky" was playing in my car and the words just seemed to fit perfectly.  It was such an awesome reminder of how BIG my God is.  I pray He continues to "open my eyes so I can see Him all around me."

 

Light, light, light up the sky
Light up the sky to show me You are with me
I, I, I can’t deny
Oh I can’t deny that You are right here with me
You’ve opened my eyes so I can see You all around me
Light, light, light up the sky
Light up the sky to show me You are with me