Boasting in Weakness

I was reading my Bible this morning and came across such a great lesson from Paul.  At one point Paul found himself with a very frustrating and uncomfortable thorn in his flesh.  He asked God three times to remove it, but God refused replying, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”  Now Paul could have been frustrated, mad at God, felt sorry for himself, etc.  But Paul so beautifully responds, "Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me." 
In my book this week I also read "Many make the mistake of approaching weight loss armed with sheer will-power and self-determination.  Even though they have committed Philippians 4:13 to memory, the emphasis and enthusiasm is directed toward, 'I can do everything.'  Unfortunately, the part of the verse that says 'through Him who gives me strength' becomes little more than an afterthought."
Instead of boasting in my weakness and admitting that I am incapable of self-control and self-discipline while relying solely on His strength, power, and grace I tend to beat myself up and throw in the towel at the first mistake.  God created us to be dependent on Him, but all too often we either become dependent on other people or things that will certainly fail us or at the opposite end of the spectrum we pride ourselves in being completely independent not needing help or support from anyone or anything.  I tend to swing back and forth between the two and neither has led to happiness or success.  I am looking to stay in that happy balance smack-dab in the middle where I am wholly dependent on Him and admitting that I cannot do this on my own will and determination.  Why is it that we would be so quick to pray over cancer in our body or an alcohol addiction, but we feel weak praying over our eating and exercise habits? 
Whatever your "thorn" is, seek God and His strength at this time.  Ask Him what lesson He is trying to teach you by allowing the thorn to cause discomfort and frustration.  Let's boast in our weakness so that we may fully understand and experience Christ's amazing power! 

Start and Stop... Week 1

One thing I have learned from years and years of dieting is that I tend to set myself up for failure if I try to cut out and/or start too many things at one time.  For example, if tomorrow I cut out all carbs, caffeine, and sugar AND also decided to start working out for one hour a day five days a week, I would most likely last until tomorrow around 9:00 a.m.  Which is why I have learned that baby steps are the key.  That being said, I am going to tackle one thing a week to start doing and one thing to stop doing. 
For this first week I have decided that my "START" will be to start tracking again using the myfitnesspal app.  I know it works.  I have used it pretty consistently over the past 20 months, but have fallen out of the habit these past 2 months. 

My "STOP" this week will be to stop drinking anything other than my morning coffee (can't give that up... my 7:15 class would agree) and water.  I have slid into the habit of looking for an afternoon pick me up with a Diet Coke and an evening calm me down with a (large) glass of wine.  Neither of these things are awful, but I have become too emotionally attached to both :)

Accountability

I'm back.  Yes, I know it's been about a year since I have blogged, but here I am.  And I'm prepared to be uncomfortably honest, transparent, and real with you.  So get ready! 

As you all know I have a constant battle that can frustrate me to no end.  Over the past two months I have unfortunately been losing this battle, but I am tired of losing, so I am waging war and calling on you to help.  My battle may look different from yours because mine comes in the form of cupcakees, cheese dip, and chocolate.  Since puberty when my body totally turned on me and started collecting pounds like a hobby, I have struggled with my weight.  I have been as heavy as 271.4 pounds (yes, that is the exact number that was seared into my brain when I vowed that come hell or high water I would NEVER see that number again) and as low as 175 pounds and everywhere in between.  My weight constantly fluctuates based on whether or not I am putting forth effort in the battle or giving in to the temptation of Gigi's and vowing to start again on Monday. 

I worked my butt off over the summer.  I was at the gym pretty much daily and tracked my food and calories... and lost about 3 pounds, which only discouraged me.  Then I had my birthday and school started back and football season came and the excuses quickly piled up and now here I am welcoming back those 3 pounds and about 7 of their closest friends. 

But, today I am putting my foot down and resolving to go back to what I know... eat well, eat less, and move more.  I have started reading a book that provides 50 days of encouragement, challenge, and renewal of the mind.  The first thing the book recommends is finding an accountability partner.  That is where you come in to play.  I figured why just one, why not as many people as I can round up to challenge, encourage, and push me toward my ultimate goal of being healthy, strong, and victorious in winning this battle.  I would appreciate your accountability, especially over these next 50 days.  A text to ask if I've been to the gym.  An email to remind me to put down the donut.  Encouragement that the Lord has given you in your own battle.  Whatever it may be, I would appreciate it.  I will also use my blog as an outlet to hold myself accountable by sharing successes and challenges.  Please feel free to share this with anyone else you know that struggles with their weight. 

I am proud of how far I have come over the past 20 months, but still have more to go!  The picture on the left was taken in September 2011 and the picture on the right was taken in August 2013.

Eyes on Him

One of my favorite people in the Bible is Peter.  I can relate to him a lot more than I would like to admit.  He tends to say and do the wrong things.  He can make poor decisions out of fear or insecurity about what others will think of him.  But, Jesus loves him and believes in him even when Peter cannot see that for himself.  One of my favorite stories in the Bible is when Jesus walks on the water (Matthew 14).  Peter struggles with faith at times, but later is the first to proclaim that Jesus is indeed the promised Messiah.  I can relate.  I feel like over the past few years I have been on a faith journey and I feel like, just like Peter, there have been times when Jesus has called me to back up my words with action. 

 

"Then Peter called to him, “Lord, if it’s really you, tell me to come to you, walking on the water.” “Yes, come,” Jesus said.  So Peter went over the side of the boat and walked on the water toward Jesus."

Jesus calls him out of the boat and he obeys.  But, his faith quickly waivers when he feels the wind pick up and sees the sea begin to churn at his feet.  I imagine he looked down to see how bad the waves were.  He took his eyes off Jesus and immediately began to sink. 

“But when he saw the strong wind and the waves, he was terrified and began to sink. “Save me, Lord!” he shouted.

How many times do I do this?  Circumstances get hard.  People disappoint me.  Things don't work out like I thought they would.  The wind and waves pick up strength and I lose my focus.  It is so hard sometimes in the midst of life's storms to remain focused on Him and keep stepping forward in faith, putting one foot in front of the other.  Can you relate?  Are you in the middle of a storm and have lost your focus?  Be encouraged!  There is hope!

"Jesus immediately reached out and grabbed him. “You have so little faith,” Jesus said. “Why did you doubt me?”

Don't you think it would have been easy for Jesus to fold him arms and shake his head at Peter for a few seconds?  But he is full of mercy and rich in love.  He immediately grabbed him.  He does the same for us.  He sees us floundering in the middle of the waves that threaten to pull us under and He reaches out and grabs us.  He reminds us that we have no reason to doubt that He will see us through, because He has done it before and He will do it again.  His promises ring true.  If you are in the middle of a storm, reach out and take His hand.  Refocus on his hope and strength to see you through.  If you aren't in the middle of a storm, you will be so remember when the wind starts to whip and the waves start to get bigger and bigger, keep your eyes fixed on the One who will see you through. 

Light Up the Sky

 

If you don't live in Alabama, then you have missed out on some of the most beautiful sunrises and sunsets.  At the start of this new school year I was participating in the 21 Days of Prayer through my church, which meant I was leaving my house at 5:30 a.m.  For anyone who has never gotten up that early, it is dark.  Like, really dark.  But one of the perks of leaving my house so early was getting to see some of the most beautiful sunrises.  One morning as I was running late and feeling overwhelmed by what the day ahead would entail I felt like God was whispering to me, "Enjoy this quiet moment and look at the sky.  I painted this for you."  Another day the song "Light Up the Sky" was playing in my car and the words just seemed to fit perfectly.  It was such an awesome reminder of how BIG my God is.  I pray He continues to "open my eyes so I can see Him all around me."

 

Light, light, light up the sky
Light up the sky to show me You are with me
I, I, I can’t deny
Oh I can’t deny that You are right here with me
You’ve opened my eyes so I can see You all around me
Light, light, light up the sky
Light up the sky to show me You are with me

Family

I love my family!  We are a close bunch.  I typically talk to my mom and sister at least once a day. 

Over the years I have had the privilege of being a part of other "families".  My school family has been a huge blessing, especially on those days when I am overwhelmed, burnt out, frustrated, disappointed, discouraged, etc.  I know that I can turn to any of these family members and they will be there to encourage and love on me.  My first few years I was part of one great family and I continue to see those girls for dinner at least every other month.  Then we were scattered and I became part of a new family.  "Team M" has been my amazing school family over the past 3 years and they are a huge reason why this change is bittersweet.  I want to take them with me because they are amazing teachers and friends.  I hope the new teacher in room 120 knows how very lucky they are to become part of this family. 

I have also been blessed with an amazing church family.  I grew up in a phenomenal church and youth group.  I struggled through college and my early 20's to find somewhere that I loved as much as where I grew up, but then God led me to Church of the Highlands where I stepped into a family of believers that are on fire for God and want to learn, grow, and serve more than I ever have before.  The passion and enthusiasm are contagious.  The below picture is my Haiti family.  The 12 of us are tied together by this experience and they will continue to be a part of my life. 

"It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart..." - Philippians 1:7

Faithful Friends

Throughout my life I have been blessed over and over with amazing friends.  Starting in middle school God surrounded me with a group of girls that challenged and encouraged me.  These girls continue to be a part of my life nearly twenty years later.  We have been through heartbreak, loss, love, celebrations, and so much more.  But even after all this time I know that I can count on them to cover me in prayer, encourage me, laugh or cry with me.  We have been through lots together over the past few years and our bond has proven to be strong and faithful.  When someone sends out a text or email that they need us, we are there without delay.  "A friend loves at ALL times..."

Over the past several years I have also been blessed with a group of amazing friends through my church.  They have stretched me, challenged me, and encouraged me in my walk with Christ.  It is so neat to look back and see how and when I met each of these dear friends.  I know that they have each come into my life according to His timing.

Over the past few weeks I have been humbled by the way these friends have loved, encouraged, and helped me prepare for a new school, a new year, and a new perspective.  Several friends came up to my school and helped clean, dust, throw away, rearrage, etc.  I was feeling very good about the progress and felt like one more full day in my room should be enough to finish everything up.  I was overwhelmed when I walked into my lab last Thursday and found curtains hung, boxes unpacked, shelves painted, etc.  On Wednesday of last week my precious friend Lauren coordinated with several of my friends and they came up to my school and worked to make my new home bright, clean, and happy.  I just kept walking around the room touching everything and saying "Oh my gosh!  Oh my gosh!"  I was blown away by such a selfless act of service, but not surprised that these friends were willing to do so much for someone else because that is the kind of people they are... Amazing people!

The song link above is so perfect to describe these people that I am blessed to call friends.  Some I have known for more than half my life and some I have only met within the past few months, but I know that God has brought each of them into my life and I am thankful.

Something brought you to my mind today

I thought about the funny ways

You make me laugh

And yet I feel like it's ok to cry with you

Something about just being with you

When I leave I feel like I've been near God

And that's the way it ought to be, yeah

‘Cause you've been more than a friend to me

You fight off my enemies

‘Cause you have spoken the truth over my life

And you'll never know what it means to me

Just to know you've been on your knees for me

Oh, you have blessed my life

More than you'll ever know