Perspective

I'm starving.
So annoyed... I had to wait 10 minutes in line at Wal Mart.
Ugh... I don't have anything to wear.
I'm bored.
I had to park so far away.  All of the front spots were taken.

You know what stinks... When God slaps you in the face with your selfish, lazy, self-centered mindset  (like slaps you hard and it stings and maybe makes you tear up a little).  But you know what's awesome... When He uses that stinging slap to wake you up out of your narcissistic stupor and opens your eyes to a more fulfilled life.  In America it is so easy to slip into this way of life because we have everything right at our fingertips and we have become spoiled.  But when I saw the joyful faces of so many people who by American standards have nothing, I was instantly convicted.  And for that I am thankful.

I have uttered the above statements more times than I can count.  But my prayer now is that the Lord would remind me in those moments of my precious friends in Africa and their joyful and content attitudes.

"I'm starving."  I have no idea.

"So annoyed... I had to wait 10 minutes in line at Wal Mart."  We had people come to the medical clinic who waited for hours without ever complaining.  Lord, teach me to be patient.

"Ugh... I don't have anything to wear."  This adorable little nugget was one of the most joyful children I have ever been around.  Does he look worried about his torn shirt?  He had on the same clothes several times and could care less.  

"I'm bored."  The children of Dihombo village were content to play games, sing songs, or just sit and be.  This is a picture of one of the pastors who joined in as we were trying (unsuccessfully) to play a game that the kids taught us.  You draw eight squares in the dirt and try to get a rock into each square without missing any of the squares.  Oh, and you can only hop on one foot.  I am sure with an extra year of practice I could have dominated this game.  We played red light/green light, follow the leader, hopscotch, limbo, and sang songs with the kids and they never complained of being bored.

"I had to park so far away.  All of the front spots were taken."  This is a picture of the pastors who showed up every day to be trained and taught by Mari Beth.  One of them walked all the way from the top of a nearby mountain each day.  

Lord, give me eyes to see the blessings that I have become so used to.  Help me not take these things for granted and show me how I can use the blessings you have given me to be a blessing to those around me and around the world.  

This video perfectly summarizes the difference between first world "problems" and third world joys.  Third World Joys

Beauty Beyond Measure

If you are like me I have always pictured Africa as dry, hot, sandy, and flat.  I am sure there are areas of this enormous continent that match that description, but I was shocked to find that Tanzania is anything but flat and sandy.  Over the eight days I spent in Tanzania I was continuously awestruck by the beauty of God's creation.

From the green, mountainous landscape

To the beautiful smiles of precious children

To wild animals grazing in what I imagine Eden was like

To the bright colors that were everywhere

Clayton, one of my team members, challenged each of us early in the week to live in the moment and fully embrace each experience of this trip.  He told us to just "eat the peach" and not think about the next thing on the to-do list or what was happening back at home, but to truly "taste and see that the Lord is good".  Man, that is hard for me, but so rewarding to slow down and appreciate God's creation.  I am continuing to challenge myself with this now that I am home and the pace is much more hurried and hectic.  I challenge you to do the same... stop and smell the roses, slow down, breathe deep, be still, eat the peach.

Meet My Team

I am amazed at how God continuously blesses me with the opportunity to be a part of some amazing teams and communities of believers.  The Tanzania Team was no exception.  Throughout this experience you get really close to people really fast.  I have found that the more open and vulnerable I am willing to be, the more I get out of being a part of a group with a common purpose.  We laughed (LOTS), talked (okay, I asked 1 gajillion questions and my teammates graciously answered), cried, encouraged, and prayed our way through this experience.  I would love to introduce you to my amazing team (From left to right):

Fred Miller: Trip Co-leader, Medical Clinic Logistics, Tippy Tap Engineer
Jordan Robbins: Fellow bootleg pharmacist
Amanda DeMauro: Eye Clinic Assistant
Mari Beth Poor: Trip Leader, Pastoral Training Leader, Blogger Extraordinaire
Me: Bootleg Pharmacist, Child Hugger
Beth Shires: Medical Clinic Vitals
Zach Whiting: Medical Clinic Floater/Helper/Murse, Team Medic, Thigh Purse Wearer
Clayton Davie: Medical Clinic Trainer for 5 Village Trainees, World Traveler who kept us all from ending up in Thailand with no luggage
Victoria Brake: Eye Clinic Assistant, Roomie
Danny Rausch: Medical Clinic Vitals, Videographer, Worship Leader

I have much love and respect for each of these new friends and I am excited to see how God will continue to use our experience to stretch, challenge, and change us.

I Left My Heart In Africa

On May 20th I met my nine teammates at the Birmingham airport at 5:00 a.m. to set out on an adventure that would change my life.  If you know me, then you know that I am a verbal processor.  I need to talk through things to process them, so I decided to resuscitate my blog in order to do this.  I would love for you to join me as I unpack everything I saw, experienced, felt, and learned over the past 12 days.  I will do my best to remember everything so I can give you a small peek into what God has done in and through my team through this incredible experience.  Thank you all for your prayers and support.  I took a little peace of each of you to Africa with me.  I hope I was able to love the people of Tanzania half as well as I have been loved in my life by each of you!

Boasting in Weakness

I was reading my Bible this morning and came across such a great lesson from Paul.  At one point Paul found himself with a very frustrating and uncomfortable thorn in his flesh.  He asked God three times to remove it, but God refused replying, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”  Now Paul could have been frustrated, mad at God, felt sorry for himself, etc.  But Paul so beautifully responds, "Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me." 
In my book this week I also read "Many make the mistake of approaching weight loss armed with sheer will-power and self-determination.  Even though they have committed Philippians 4:13 to memory, the emphasis and enthusiasm is directed toward, 'I can do everything.'  Unfortunately, the part of the verse that says 'through Him who gives me strength' becomes little more than an afterthought."
Instead of boasting in my weakness and admitting that I am incapable of self-control and self-discipline while relying solely on His strength, power, and grace I tend to beat myself up and throw in the towel at the first mistake.  God created us to be dependent on Him, but all too often we either become dependent on other people or things that will certainly fail us or at the opposite end of the spectrum we pride ourselves in being completely independent not needing help or support from anyone or anything.  I tend to swing back and forth between the two and neither has led to happiness or success.  I am looking to stay in that happy balance smack-dab in the middle where I am wholly dependent on Him and admitting that I cannot do this on my own will and determination.  Why is it that we would be so quick to pray over cancer in our body or an alcohol addiction, but we feel weak praying over our eating and exercise habits? 
Whatever your "thorn" is, seek God and His strength at this time.  Ask Him what lesson He is trying to teach you by allowing the thorn to cause discomfort and frustration.  Let's boast in our weakness so that we may fully understand and experience Christ's amazing power! 

Start and Stop... Week 1

One thing I have learned from years and years of dieting is that I tend to set myself up for failure if I try to cut out and/or start too many things at one time.  For example, if tomorrow I cut out all carbs, caffeine, and sugar AND also decided to start working out for one hour a day five days a week, I would most likely last until tomorrow around 9:00 a.m.  Which is why I have learned that baby steps are the key.  That being said, I am going to tackle one thing a week to start doing and one thing to stop doing. 
For this first week I have decided that my "START" will be to start tracking again using the myfitnesspal app.  I know it works.  I have used it pretty consistently over the past 20 months, but have fallen out of the habit these past 2 months. 

My "STOP" this week will be to stop drinking anything other than my morning coffee (can't give that up... my 7:15 class would agree) and water.  I have slid into the habit of looking for an afternoon pick me up with a Diet Coke and an evening calm me down with a (large) glass of wine.  Neither of these things are awful, but I have become too emotionally attached to both :)

Accountability

I'm back.  Yes, I know it's been about a year since I have blogged, but here I am.  And I'm prepared to be uncomfortably honest, transparent, and real with you.  So get ready! 

As you all know I have a constant battle that can frustrate me to no end.  Over the past two months I have unfortunately been losing this battle, but I am tired of losing, so I am waging war and calling on you to help.  My battle may look different from yours because mine comes in the form of cupcakees, cheese dip, and chocolate.  Since puberty when my body totally turned on me and started collecting pounds like a hobby, I have struggled with my weight.  I have been as heavy as 271.4 pounds (yes, that is the exact number that was seared into my brain when I vowed that come hell or high water I would NEVER see that number again) and as low as 175 pounds and everywhere in between.  My weight constantly fluctuates based on whether or not I am putting forth effort in the battle or giving in to the temptation of Gigi's and vowing to start again on Monday. 

I worked my butt off over the summer.  I was at the gym pretty much daily and tracked my food and calories... and lost about 3 pounds, which only discouraged me.  Then I had my birthday and school started back and football season came and the excuses quickly piled up and now here I am welcoming back those 3 pounds and about 7 of their closest friends. 

But, today I am putting my foot down and resolving to go back to what I know... eat well, eat less, and move more.  I have started reading a book that provides 50 days of encouragement, challenge, and renewal of the mind.  The first thing the book recommends is finding an accountability partner.  That is where you come in to play.  I figured why just one, why not as many people as I can round up to challenge, encourage, and push me toward my ultimate goal of being healthy, strong, and victorious in winning this battle.  I would appreciate your accountability, especially over these next 50 days.  A text to ask if I've been to the gym.  An email to remind me to put down the donut.  Encouragement that the Lord has given you in your own battle.  Whatever it may be, I would appreciate it.  I will also use my blog as an outlet to hold myself accountable by sharing successes and challenges.  Please feel free to share this with anyone else you know that struggles with their weight. 

I am proud of how far I have come over the past 20 months, but still have more to go!  The picture on the left was taken in September 2011 and the picture on the right was taken in August 2013.