Move Mountains

" 'You don't have enough faith,' Jesus told them. 'I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, "Move here to there," and it would move.  NOTHING would be impossible.' " - Matthew 17:20

I have heard this verse many times.  I even have a necklace with a mustard seed in it and the inscription "Faith" as a reminder of this verse, but I always thought of the mentioned mountain literally until recently.  I have been reading the book Made to Crave by Lysa TerKeurst (which I highly recommend).  The book is all about how we were made to crave (hence the title).  God put that in us for a specific reason and that is to crave more of Him, but over time we each begin to crave other things instead (relationships, success, and even food).  These overwhelming cravings become huge mountains in our path.  And in my case a well over 200 pound mountain.  I have often shared on my blog about my attempts to get back on track and get healthy, but there is always an excuse (often lame, but an excuse nonetheless). I will do well for a few weeks and then slowly slip back into old habits.  I forced myself to weigh after the start of the year.  I stepped on and off the scale at least 6 times because I was sure there was a glitch on the screen.  "There is NO way that is accurate."  "The most I have ever weighed is almost 20 pounds less than this atrocious number!"  "How in the world did this happen?  I mean, I know I ate my weight in oreo balls over Christmas, but c'mon!" 

Hello, rock bottom.  Nice to meet you.

It just so happened that this horrifying moment coincided with the start of my church's 21 days of prayer and fasting.  I participated in the 21 days of prayer back in August, but I have never done any type of fast (obviously).  I prayed about what I should fast during this time and was led to participate in the Daniel Fast.  Food had become too much of an issue for me, so it was time for me to deal with that.  I decided that in order to deal with this "mountain" I needed to fully sacrifice this issue to God, which had always seemed a little silly to me.  But I have learned that God wants to be a part of EVERY area of my life (no matter how big or small)  and so with open hands I came to him and turned this (huge) mountain over to Him with the faith that with Him I will succeed in dealing with this longtime struggle.  We all have mountains in our path that seem overwhelming to get past, but I think my problem is that I see the mountain of my weight and think "There is absolutely no way I can get up and over this mountain.  I have tried so many times and end up right back at the bottom.  And this time the mountain is higher than it has ever been before."  But God says, "You don't have to scale this mountain.  If you put your faith in me and press into me for strength and self control and perseverance, I'm gonna move that bad boy out of your way!"  Uhm, hello... that is AWESOME! 

Ok, Faithful Father, I'm really ready this time.  Let's do this!  I am declaring that 2012 will be the year that mountains are moved in my life and I am praying that you will ask God to move your mountain, too!

Updated LIST for 2012

As you know, I started off 2011 by creating a list of 30 things I wanted to do before I turned 30.  I worked through about half of my list, so I am just going to "roll-over" the other half and add a few other things to my list for this year.  Here goes:
1. Shoot a gun
2. Skydive
3. 5 Random Acts of Kindness
4. Camping
5. Sewing
6. Zip Line
7. Ski (Water or Snow)
8. Watch the sun rise
9. Ride a motorcycle
10. Redo my kitchen floor
11. Get a passport
12. Watch the following movies: Citizen Kane, Ghost, Gone with the Wind, and American Graffiti
NEW 13. Read through the Bible
NEW 14. Learn about politics and become educated about what is going on around the world
NEW 15. Travel somewhere new

Death by Frogs

So, if you don't already know this about me, I am deathly afraid of frogs.  I have no idea why.  I wish I could tell you that I once saw someone die in front of me from the touch of a poisonous dart frog or some equally awful story to explain this incredily irrational fear, but I got nothin'.  They completely freak me out.  The only way I manage to maintain my cool for frog dissection day at school is the fact that they are dead.  But it definitely still presents a challenge for me where I am forced to go to my happy place for that 45 minutes out of the school year. 
So anyway, I started reading the chronological Bible plan from youversion.com.  I actually have the app on my phone which is awesome because I can just pull it up at any point and read through the daily reading.  I am in Exodus now and was reading on Friday about the ten plagues that hit Egypt because Pharaoh refused to let the Israelites go free.  I have heard this story lots over the past 30 years, but really the only plague I could remember was the locusts (which was the 8th one in case you were wondering), so I was filled with complete horror when I started reading about the 2nd plague. 

"1 God said to Moses, "Go to Pharaoh and tell him, 'God's Message: Release my people so they can worship me.2 If you refuse to release them, I'm warning you, I'll hit the whole country with frogs.3 The Nile will swarm with frogs-they'll come up into your houses, into your bedrooms and into your beds, into your servants' quarters, among the people, into your ovens and pots and pans.4 They'll be all over you, all over everyone-frogs everywhere, on and in everything!'"  - Exodus 8:1-4 (MSG)

What?!?!?!?!  No way!  See, even God knew they were evil little things that should be used to torture people.  All I could think was that God could have saved Himself a lot of time had I been in Pharaoh's sandals.  There would have been no need for the next 8 plagues because I would have given in after the first frog was found in my bed.

Quotes of the Week

As you know, I teach fifth grade.  Fifth graders can be quite entertaining at times.  Here are a few quotes from my classroom this past week:

Student A: "I have a basketball game tomorrow."
Student B: "I didn't know you played basketball.  What position do you play?"
Student A:  "Running back."
Ms. Meadows: "Hmmmm... Pretty sure that's not right."

Ms. Meadows: "Can someone create a new word by adding a prefix to the word 'able' "
Student: "Fable"

Student A to Student B: "Dude, you're growin a mustache."
Student B: "No I ain't."
Student A: "Yes you are.  That mustache is comin'."

Square Peg in a Round Hole

That is the best description I can come up with for my experience this afternoon.  I have had off and on pain in my neck for a few years now.  My dad has a history of neck issues and has had surgery to correct bulging discs, so I wanted to get things checked out to be on the safe side.  About a month ago I called and made an appointment with a neurologist.  I met with him two weeks ago and he ordered an MRI.  I went in this afternoon to have this done and will meet with him tomorrow to get the results.  No big deal, right?  HA.... Little did I know.  I thought I would show up, lay down, have them do a quick scan of my neck and be on my merry way, but as most things turn out for me, what I expected was not at all what happened.  First of all, I was escorted by a nurse back to a small room where she instructed me to get undressed.  "Uhmmm, hold up. I am here for an MRI.  I think you have the wrong person."  Before I could say this, she handed me a pair of scrubs to put on and then told me to leave all of my belongings in the locker and then take a seat in the maroon wheelchair at the end of the hallway.  "Again, I am here to have an MRI.  Is there a reason why I would need to be seated in a wheelchair?"  I followed her instructions and took my seat in the wheelchair and waited for the technician to come get me.  While I was sitting there I started thinking, "She did tell me to take my bra off, right?  Why are there needles on this table next to me?  Have these scrubs been washed?"  Terry, the technician, comes out and informs me that my doctor has ordered some of the scans to be done with contrast, so she will need to give me an IV.  "For the love!  I am here to have an MRI.  Why didn't someone inform me that I would have to strip down, put on questionable scrubs, and then get a needle jabbed in my arm?"  I am 30 years old.  I am 6 feet tall.  I ain't no tiny girl, but when it comes to needles I suddenly convert to a 3 year old.  So far, this whole breeze in, lay down, breeze out plan of mine was not happening.  Terry finishes jabbing me and leads me into the room with the previously mentioned "round hole" that the "square peg" (otherwise known as my 6 foot body) would soon be rammed into, kind of like a cannonball.  Terry ushers me over to the table and tells me to lay down on my back.  She then informs me that the machine is quite loud and gives me some earplugs to wear.  She puts some cushions on either side of my head to hold it in place and then tells me that when I hear the machine running the scans I need to try not to swallow, clear my throat, or move at all.  "Uhm, okay.  Hey, Terry, you're kinda starting to freak me out a little."  Breathe in, breathe out.  Then she places a metal shield over my face (which of course in my mind looks like the mask Hannibal Lecter is forced to wear) and then tells me she is going to slide me into the machine.  First she hooks a chord to my questionable scrub pants and tells me that if at any time I think I need out I just have to push the button.  She slides the table in (and by slides, I mean rams Spongebob Square Merts into the cannon).  As she is pushing (ramming) me in, she casually informs me that my arms will be touching the side of the machine (cannon).  I open my eyes to see the top of the machine roughly .002 mm from my face.  I am pretty sure I could have kissed it had it not been for my Hannibal mask.  I hear the machine cut on and give it about 3 seconds before I begin frantically pushing my "emergency evacuation" button.  I break out in a sweat and feel like if Terry doesn't get me out of the cannon stat I am going to suffocate.  Terry comes over the speaker and asks if I'm okay.  "Uhm, NO!  No, I am most certainly not okay."  She pulls me out and removes my Hannibal mask.  I gulp air and begin to plan my escape, but Terry is not willing to let me go without a fight.  She finally convinces me that I can do it.  She turns on a fan at the other end of the machine and gets me set to go back into the cannon.  I take deep breaths and then declare that I can do this.  It is 22 minutes.  I can do it.  I squeeze my eyes shut and she slides (rams) me back in.  About halfway through I squint out of one eye and quickly realize that the key to my successful MRI is keeping my eyes closed.  And the next thing I know, it's over.  Terry comes in and pulls me out of the cannon, yanks the tape off my arm, slides the IV out, and sends me back to my changing room.  I get changed  and stagger out of the office wondering what Terry might be blogging about tonight.

"Real"ationship

"And now, just as you accepted Christ Jesus as your Lord, you must continue to follow Him. Let your roots grow down into Him, and let your lives be built on Him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness." - Colossians 2:6-7

I became a Christian when I was 8 years old. I remember that Sunday well. I had my Jem Barbie doll with me and clung to her as I walked to the front of the church to tell Brother Mickey that I was ready to be baptized. (I am pretty sure that a large part of this decision was influenced by the fact that my older sister had made this decision recently and I didn't want to be left out.) I stood at the front of the church and got lots of handshakes and hugs after the service and a few weeks later I stepped foot into the baptismal and made my public profession of faith before getting dunked. I had prayed the prayer of salvation and been baptized, which in my 8 year old mind was all I needed to do.

But this thinking lacked roots and a foundation on him. Instead, over the next several years, God was a part of my life, but not necessarily the foundation that I built everything else on.

Over the past 22 years God has brought different people and experiences into my life that have shown me that yes, I was saved, but there was so much more He wanted for me to have. He wanted a relationship with me. He wanted me to have an amazing testimony of things that could only be explained by His power.

I could share lots of stories with you of some of these people or experiences, but that would take way too long, so I will just focus on this past year. About two years ago I went through a bit of an emotional come-apart. I was depressed and broken-hearted. It was during that time that I pulled out my Bible and clung to God's promises that He loved me unconditionally and had a "peace that passes all understanding" for me. This time was difficult for me, but I wouldn't trade it for anything because it ignited a new fire in my heart to become closer to Jesus and to experience a true relationship with Him. Fast forward a year and I was kicking off 2011 with a desire to see God move in my life.

Over the past year God has used several new friends in my life to draw me closer to Him. I began asking God some hard questions (What does true faith and trust and dependence on You look like? How can I ask for the desires of my heart without knowing if You will fulfill those desires?) and really seeking the answers in His word. In all of my searching I simply felt God whispering to me, "Come closer. Press into me. I have something so beautiful planned for you." And in that process God really started to change the desires of my heart. I now come to Him and say, "I want what You want," whereas before that totally freaked me out. What if He wanted me to be single for the rest of my life? What if He wanted me to move somewhere scary by myself and be a missionary? What if He wanted me to do the impossible? When my mind swirled with these anxious thoughts, He would again whisper to me, "Trust and obey. Have I not been faithful? From my vantage point I can see what's coming, and even if you don't think you can handle it, I know you can and I will be with you every step of the way."

I have been challenged, convicted, and encouraged over the past year in ways that I never have before. I have begun to experience a "real"ationship with God that is full of grace and love and excitement. I have planted those roots in Him and made Him my foundation. The amazing ways that God moved in my life during 2011 only causes me to wait expectantly for what He has in store for 2012.

"In the morning, Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly." - Psalm 5:3

Trust and Obey

What would you do if you were 18 and felt God calling you to spend a year in Uganda?

What would you do if you were a young girl living in Uganda and felt God calling you to build your life there?

What if you were 21 and now a mother of 13 girls?

What if...