I am currently watching the finale of American Idol. I have not watched a single episode this year, but I am wondering how in the world some of these people made it past their initial audition in some stadium in Oklahoma. My ears are actually bleeding from their tone deaf attempt at a once popular song. This has made me realize that all of the talented singers in America have been on one of the other 724 seasons and it is now time for the show to retire. Simon is leaving, so really who will be left to tell some of these clueless freakshows that not only can they not sing, but they really should ask permission before leaving the mental hospital they came from.
So, along with American Idol, here are a few others that should quit while they are ahead:
1. Anything that involves Heidi and Spencer (If you do not know who I am talking about, consider yourself incredibly lucky)
2. Any one of the 38 versions of Law and Order.
3. The Bachelor/Bachelorette: I used to watch every single season, but now it is way too scripted. Surely these skanky losers are acting.
4. Toddlers and Tiaras: The previews enrage me, so I have never actually watched an episode. Did we not all learn a lesson from Jon Benet? Must we exploit these spoiled little kids and their overweight redneck moms that are living vicariously through them? If you are not potty trained, should you really be wearing more mascara than Tammy Faye?
5. The Simpsons: I have never understood what is so entertaining about this show. The kid has jagged hair and says "Eat my shorts" and you would think it was the funniest thing ever.
6. Nancy Grace: "Natalee Holloway, where arrrre youuu? Her voice grates on my nerves somethin' fierce.
I will now stop venting and allow you to return to your regularly scheduled programming!
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
School's Out For Summer!
I cannot believe it is already the end of my 4th year of teaching. It really does seem like I just met my students and their parents. I have had a great year and honestly LOVE this group of kids. I am sad to see them go, but I am also looking forward to the break. My students this year have been the most unique group of kids and I have really loved seeing all of their different personalities in action. Tomorrow is their last day with me and then I will go in on Friday to close out and then I will peel out of the parking lot while singing "Looks Like We Made It" at the top of my lungs.
Here are a few things I am looking most forward to this summer:
1. Working as a counselor at Camp Smile-A-Mile
2. Spending time with Carson (my niece)
3. The arrival of my second niece, Maggie!
4. Reading the 863 books I have bought over the past few months
5. Two beach trips (One with my sis and her family and the other one with some sweet friends from school)
6. Sleeping in and getting to eat breakfast (especially cereal with fresh peaches) while watching the Today show
7. Not hearing "Ms. Meadows, Ms. Meadows, Ms. Meadows" 82 kajillion times a day
8. Getting to spend time with one of my favorite students from this year. It will be fun to get to play with her and just have fun outside of school!
9. Hanging out with friends that I never get to see
10. Not having to worry about 26 other people for 8 hours of my day
I LOVE my job... especially right now :)
Here are a few things I am looking most forward to this summer:
1. Working as a counselor at Camp Smile-A-Mile
2. Spending time with Carson (my niece)
3. The arrival of my second niece, Maggie!
4. Reading the 863 books I have bought over the past few months
5. Two beach trips (One with my sis and her family and the other one with some sweet friends from school)
6. Sleeping in and getting to eat breakfast (especially cereal with fresh peaches) while watching the Today show
7. Not hearing "Ms. Meadows, Ms. Meadows, Ms. Meadows" 82 kajillion times a day
8. Getting to spend time with one of my favorite students from this year. It will be fun to get to play with her and just have fun outside of school!
9. Hanging out with friends that I never get to see
10. Not having to worry about 26 other people for 8 hours of my day
I LOVE my job... especially right now :)
Monday, May 17, 2010
Just Say No... To Cake
Bad news folks... I fought the cake, and the cake won. I have done TERRIBLE over the past several days. It all started with chocolate squares from Edgar's that I am physically incapable of turning down. Then it steadily continued to go downhill from there. I have two weeks left of school and in those two weeks I have 8 different parties, dinners, showers, etc. to attend. EIGHT, that's right. And do you know what that means? Cake... and lots of it! So, I have decided that there is really no reason for me to even try and be good over the next two weeks, because I know that I will fail and then feel guilty, which would probably involve some form of chocolate to make me feel better.
On another note, I did buy a new Jillian Michaels work-out DVD yesterday, but apparently you must actually do the work-out. Unfortunately simply purchasing the DVD does not help you shed pounds.
So as you can tell, I did not weigh this morning because I really did not want to start my week off with a hissy fit. I am still trying to drink more water and I did at least stock up on fresh strawberries, pineapple, and blueberries to fill me up between cakes (I mean meals) this week. Looking for some motivation... if you have any, please send it my way!
On another note, I did buy a new Jillian Michaels work-out DVD yesterday, but apparently you must actually do the work-out. Unfortunately simply purchasing the DVD does not help you shed pounds.
So as you can tell, I did not weigh this morning because I really did not want to start my week off with a hissy fit. I am still trying to drink more water and I did at least stock up on fresh strawberries, pineapple, and blueberries to fill me up between cakes (I mean meals) this week. Looking for some motivation... if you have any, please send it my way!
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Ode to Mothers
I just woke up from a wonderful two hour nap. Now, for those who know me that is not really a shocking discovery, but my usual naps are not due to being a caretaker for a two and a half year old girl for roughly 18 hours. Over the course of those 18 hours I came to several conclusions.
1. First of all, my niece is a genius. This was really not a new realization, but was just confirmed throughout our time together. She does not forget anything. She will often reference something and I will rack my brain trying to figure out what she is talking about, only to remember this memory from when she was approximately 3 hours old.
2. Have you ever heard that a child's attention span is the child's age in minutes? Since she is 2.5, that would mean she has an attention span of 2.5 minutes. This is FALSE. The equation should actually be half the child's age, which in her case would be about 1 minute and 25 seconds. This morning I was trying to get myself ready, while keeping her entertained in my bedroom where I could easily keep my eye on her. HAHAHA... way easier said than done. I would get the TV set to something she was interested in and get about 1/8 of my hair dry only to find her MIA. This tactic was repeated several times, while I considered giving up and just throwing my wet hair up in a ponytail sans makeup, but that is too scary for the public, so I battled on. How my sister makes it out the door with make-up, teeth brushed, hair fixed is a mystery to me.
3. My house is NOT kid proofed at all. I realized this about 2 minutes after we arrived at my house when I was locked out by "the genius". When she let me back in she was devouring a Hershey kiss. I'm surprised she wasn't laying on the couch reading People and watching Jersey Shore. Before she comes back for another spend the night party I will need to make sure I am in full lockdown mode, like Fort Knox. Chains will need to be used on all drawers, doors, cabinets, etc. Carson would run off for a minute and return with a treasure she had dug out of the depths of some drawer, which of course meant that whatever was covering this treasure, was now littered throughout the room she was in. Seeing as I am a "little" (read "way") anal, I basically followed her around the whole time picking up whatever she had thrown down, spit out, knocked over, etc.
4. Carson LOVES Oscar (my cat). Unfortunately, Oscar does not share her feelings. He finally reached a point where he would quietly emerge and peek around the corner only to find that she was still here. He would then turn around and slink back to his hiding spot with a scowl on his face. I typically do not chase him around the house while squealing and trying to pull his tail, so he was not used to this behavior.
5. I absolutely adore my niece and cannot wait for her to come back again! We were talking today about all of the fun things we can do together this summer since I will be out of school. I am looking forward to spending lots of time with her and helping Ashley get ready for Maggie's arrival.
1. First of all, my niece is a genius. This was really not a new realization, but was just confirmed throughout our time together. She does not forget anything. She will often reference something and I will rack my brain trying to figure out what she is talking about, only to remember this memory from when she was approximately 3 hours old.
2. Have you ever heard that a child's attention span is the child's age in minutes? Since she is 2.5, that would mean she has an attention span of 2.5 minutes. This is FALSE. The equation should actually be half the child's age, which in her case would be about 1 minute and 25 seconds. This morning I was trying to get myself ready, while keeping her entertained in my bedroom where I could easily keep my eye on her. HAHAHA... way easier said than done. I would get the TV set to something she was interested in and get about 1/8 of my hair dry only to find her MIA. This tactic was repeated several times, while I considered giving up and just throwing my wet hair up in a ponytail sans makeup, but that is too scary for the public, so I battled on. How my sister makes it out the door with make-up, teeth brushed, hair fixed is a mystery to me.
3. My house is NOT kid proofed at all. I realized this about 2 minutes after we arrived at my house when I was locked out by "the genius". When she let me back in she was devouring a Hershey kiss. I'm surprised she wasn't laying on the couch reading People and watching Jersey Shore. Before she comes back for another spend the night party I will need to make sure I am in full lockdown mode, like Fort Knox. Chains will need to be used on all drawers, doors, cabinets, etc. Carson would run off for a minute and return with a treasure she had dug out of the depths of some drawer, which of course meant that whatever was covering this treasure, was now littered throughout the room she was in. Seeing as I am a "little" (read "way") anal, I basically followed her around the whole time picking up whatever she had thrown down, spit out, knocked over, etc.
4. Carson LOVES Oscar (my cat). Unfortunately, Oscar does not share her feelings. He finally reached a point where he would quietly emerge and peek around the corner only to find that she was still here. He would then turn around and slink back to his hiding spot with a scowl on his face. I typically do not chase him around the house while squealing and trying to pull his tail, so he was not used to this behavior.
5. I absolutely adore my niece and cannot wait for her to come back again! We were talking today about all of the fun things we can do together this summer since I will be out of school. I am looking forward to spending lots of time with her and helping Ashley get ready for Maggie's arrival.
Monday, May 10, 2010
Say It Ain't So...
Well, I was going to update you all yesterday, but I just could not believe that the scales were correct, so I decided to weigh again this morning to give you a more accurate update. In reality, I decided to weigh again this morning because there was no way I was going to accept that I had gained 3.4 pounds last week. No way, uh uh, not buyin' it. Well, as I figured, according to the scales this morning, I lost 2.6 pounds yesterday. So, as you can see, something is wrong with my scales. Basically I really don't know what my current weight is, but here are the things I do know:
1) I have really cut back on drinking cokes. I am trying to force myself to drink more water, which means I have been going to the bathroom lots. I feel like it is flushing my body of lots of bad stuff, which is good because I LOVE to clean things out, so why not clean out my body? I have even considered doing one of those acai cleanse thingies, but feel like I would need to be bathroom accessible for at least 48 hours.
2) I still hate to exercise (which is why I have easily justified not doing it over the past 2 days), but when I do it, I feel better knowing I have sweated and burned a few calories. I even went on a hike with my brother on Sunday. It was great (for the first 30 minutes) until he decided to cut off the path and hike up a straight incline. Seeing as I am not an outdoorsy girl, I have no "gear", which meant that he was easily maneuvering over roots, boulders, etc. in his hiking boots, while I was clumsily stumbling around in my New Balances. But, we had fun and the weather was perfect.
3) I am really trying to do better about snacking. For some reason, I think that 22 handfuls of different foods = zero points. This afternoon I was really hungry when I got home, so I ate a few pretzels, some chocolate chips, a bite or two of english peas, and a Tootsie pop. Gotta do better about that.
I will keep ya posted on my progress!
1) I have really cut back on drinking cokes. I am trying to force myself to drink more water, which means I have been going to the bathroom lots. I feel like it is flushing my body of lots of bad stuff, which is good because I LOVE to clean things out, so why not clean out my body? I have even considered doing one of those acai cleanse thingies, but feel like I would need to be bathroom accessible for at least 48 hours.
2) I still hate to exercise (which is why I have easily justified not doing it over the past 2 days), but when I do it, I feel better knowing I have sweated and burned a few calories. I even went on a hike with my brother on Sunday. It was great (for the first 30 minutes) until he decided to cut off the path and hike up a straight incline. Seeing as I am not an outdoorsy girl, I have no "gear", which meant that he was easily maneuvering over roots, boulders, etc. in his hiking boots, while I was clumsily stumbling around in my New Balances. But, we had fun and the weather was perfect.
3) I am really trying to do better about snacking. For some reason, I think that 22 handfuls of different foods = zero points. This afternoon I was really hungry when I got home, so I ate a few pretzels, some chocolate chips, a bite or two of english peas, and a Tootsie pop. Gotta do better about that.
I will keep ya posted on my progress!
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
What Not to Wear
As a teacher I am constantly amazed at what some parents allow their children to wear to school. Since I teach at an elementary school our dress code is pretty laid back, but this time of the year we start to see more questionable choices as many fifth grade girls follow in the footsteps of Miley and Britney and decide to show more skin. The other day I had to tell one girl that her cut-off denim shorts were way too short. I also wanted to ask why she thought they went well with her Ugg boots and neon yellow t-shirt. There are also several girls that have recently started wearing Converse knee-high boots that lace up. These remind me more of something that Jack Black probably wore in Nacho Libre. There are always some kids who wear shorts year round, even in the dead of winter, and there are others who will wear their North Face fleece jacket, even when they have the sleeves pushed up to their armpits and are leaving a trail of sweat behind them.
My two favorite t-shirts I have seen at school lately read, "Hold my headgear while I kiss your girlfriend" and "ITAPPA KEGGA". The second child explained to his teacher that his shirt was for a fraternity. She kindly explained that the shirt was not from a fraternity (maybe for one of their favorite past times), and should not be worn again.
Now, as a disclaimer, I made plenty of questionable fashion choices throughout my school years. I once tried to start a new trend by wearing a fishing vest to school. Sadly no one followed in my footsteps. I always had a hard time finding pants and shoes seeing as I am 6 feet tall with size 12 feet. I was wearing capris long before capris were cool, thanks to a few too many pairs of pants that took a trip through the drier, but stirrup pants were great because I could always stretch them out to be long enough (even if this caused the crotch to be down at my knees). I also wore way too much silk, ruffles, ruffled silk, flannel, crocheted fabrics, vests, etc. I am sure that if Stacey and Clinton had seen me in 7th grade they would have died of laughter or sheer embarrassment on my behalf.
My two favorite t-shirts I have seen at school lately read, "Hold my headgear while I kiss your girlfriend" and "ITAPPA KEGGA". The second child explained to his teacher that his shirt was for a fraternity. She kindly explained that the shirt was not from a fraternity (maybe for one of their favorite past times), and should not be worn again.
Now, as a disclaimer, I made plenty of questionable fashion choices throughout my school years. I once tried to start a new trend by wearing a fishing vest to school. Sadly no one followed in my footsteps. I always had a hard time finding pants and shoes seeing as I am 6 feet tall with size 12 feet. I was wearing capris long before capris were cool, thanks to a few too many pairs of pants that took a trip through the drier, but stirrup pants were great because I could always stretch them out to be long enough (even if this caused the crotch to be down at my knees). I also wore way too much silk, ruffles, ruffled silk, flannel, crocheted fabrics, vests, etc. I am sure that if Stacey and Clinton had seen me in 7th grade they would have died of laughter or sheer embarrassment on my behalf.
Monday, May 3, 2010
Sweet Success
Well, I am 1 week into my body boot camp, and after a minor setback that involved delicious cake salvaged off the floor (that was worth every single point), I weighed in this morning to a loss of 3.6 pounds! I was very excited to see that my work over the past week payed off. After I got home this afternoon, I continued with my walking/jogging routine even though it was hot and muggy and well beyond my comfort level that normally involves very little sweating. Do I still want to head to Zaxby's for a tasty dinner of fries, chicken fingers, and buttery toast? Well, yes, of course! Am I trying to do better and make better choices? Yes. Is that always easy? Uhm, no. But, I see what a difference it makes and so, I am trying.
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