Eyes on Him

One of my favorite people in the Bible is Peter.  I can relate to him a lot more than I would like to admit.  He tends to say and do the wrong things.  He can make poor decisions out of fear or insecurity about what others will think of him.  But, Jesus loves him and believes in him even when Peter cannot see that for himself.  One of my favorite stories in the Bible is when Jesus walks on the water (Matthew 14).  Peter struggles with faith at times, but later is the first to proclaim that Jesus is indeed the promised Messiah.  I can relate.  I feel like over the past few years I have been on a faith journey and I feel like, just like Peter, there have been times when Jesus has called me to back up my words with action. 

 

"Then Peter called to him, “Lord, if it’s really you, tell me to come to you, walking on the water.” “Yes, come,” Jesus said.  So Peter went over the side of the boat and walked on the water toward Jesus."

Jesus calls him out of the boat and he obeys.  But, his faith quickly waivers when he feels the wind pick up and sees the sea begin to churn at his feet.  I imagine he looked down to see how bad the waves were.  He took his eyes off Jesus and immediately began to sink. 

“But when he saw the strong wind and the waves, he was terrified and began to sink. “Save me, Lord!” he shouted.

How many times do I do this?  Circumstances get hard.  People disappoint me.  Things don't work out like I thought they would.  The wind and waves pick up strength and I lose my focus.  It is so hard sometimes in the midst of life's storms to remain focused on Him and keep stepping forward in faith, putting one foot in front of the other.  Can you relate?  Are you in the middle of a storm and have lost your focus?  Be encouraged!  There is hope!

"Jesus immediately reached out and grabbed him. “You have so little faith,” Jesus said. “Why did you doubt me?”

Don't you think it would have been easy for Jesus to fold him arms and shake his head at Peter for a few seconds?  But he is full of mercy and rich in love.  He immediately grabbed him.  He does the same for us.  He sees us floundering in the middle of the waves that threaten to pull us under and He reaches out and grabs us.  He reminds us that we have no reason to doubt that He will see us through, because He has done it before and He will do it again.  His promises ring true.  If you are in the middle of a storm, reach out and take His hand.  Refocus on his hope and strength to see you through.  If you aren't in the middle of a storm, you will be so remember when the wind starts to whip and the waves start to get bigger and bigger, keep your eyes fixed on the One who will see you through. 

Light Up the Sky

 

If you don't live in Alabama, then you have missed out on some of the most beautiful sunrises and sunsets.  At the start of this new school year I was participating in the 21 Days of Prayer through my church, which meant I was leaving my house at 5:30 a.m.  For anyone who has never gotten up that early, it is dark.  Like, really dark.  But one of the perks of leaving my house so early was getting to see some of the most beautiful sunrises.  One morning as I was running late and feeling overwhelmed by what the day ahead would entail I felt like God was whispering to me, "Enjoy this quiet moment and look at the sky.  I painted this for you."  Another day the song "Light Up the Sky" was playing in my car and the words just seemed to fit perfectly.  It was such an awesome reminder of how BIG my God is.  I pray He continues to "open my eyes so I can see Him all around me."

 

Light, light, light up the sky
Light up the sky to show me You are with me
I, I, I can’t deny
Oh I can’t deny that You are right here with me
You’ve opened my eyes so I can see You all around me
Light, light, light up the sky
Light up the sky to show me You are with me

Family

I love my family!  We are a close bunch.  I typically talk to my mom and sister at least once a day. 

Over the years I have had the privilege of being a part of other "families".  My school family has been a huge blessing, especially on those days when I am overwhelmed, burnt out, frustrated, disappointed, discouraged, etc.  I know that I can turn to any of these family members and they will be there to encourage and love on me.  My first few years I was part of one great family and I continue to see those girls for dinner at least every other month.  Then we were scattered and I became part of a new family.  "Team M" has been my amazing school family over the past 3 years and they are a huge reason why this change is bittersweet.  I want to take them with me because they are amazing teachers and friends.  I hope the new teacher in room 120 knows how very lucky they are to become part of this family. 

I have also been blessed with an amazing church family.  I grew up in a phenomenal church and youth group.  I struggled through college and my early 20's to find somewhere that I loved as much as where I grew up, but then God led me to Church of the Highlands where I stepped into a family of believers that are on fire for God and want to learn, grow, and serve more than I ever have before.  The passion and enthusiasm are contagious.  The below picture is my Haiti family.  The 12 of us are tied together by this experience and they will continue to be a part of my life. 

"It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart..." - Philippians 1:7

Faithful Friends

Throughout my life I have been blessed over and over with amazing friends.  Starting in middle school God surrounded me with a group of girls that challenged and encouraged me.  These girls continue to be a part of my life nearly twenty years later.  We have been through heartbreak, loss, love, celebrations, and so much more.  But even after all this time I know that I can count on them to cover me in prayer, encourage me, laugh or cry with me.  We have been through lots together over the past few years and our bond has proven to be strong and faithful.  When someone sends out a text or email that they need us, we are there without delay.  "A friend loves at ALL times..."

Over the past several years I have also been blessed with a group of amazing friends through my church.  They have stretched me, challenged me, and encouraged me in my walk with Christ.  It is so neat to look back and see how and when I met each of these dear friends.  I know that they have each come into my life according to His timing.

Over the past few weeks I have been humbled by the way these friends have loved, encouraged, and helped me prepare for a new school, a new year, and a new perspective.  Several friends came up to my school and helped clean, dust, throw away, rearrage, etc.  I was feeling very good about the progress and felt like one more full day in my room should be enough to finish everything up.  I was overwhelmed when I walked into my lab last Thursday and found curtains hung, boxes unpacked, shelves painted, etc.  On Wednesday of last week my precious friend Lauren coordinated with several of my friends and they came up to my school and worked to make my new home bright, clean, and happy.  I just kept walking around the room touching everything and saying "Oh my gosh!  Oh my gosh!"  I was blown away by such a selfless act of service, but not surprised that these friends were willing to do so much for someone else because that is the kind of people they are... Amazing people!

The song link above is so perfect to describe these people that I am blessed to call friends.  Some I have known for more than half my life and some I have only met within the past few months, but I know that God has brought each of them into my life and I am thankful.

Something brought you to my mind today

I thought about the funny ways

You make me laugh

And yet I feel like it's ok to cry with you

Something about just being with you

When I leave I feel like I've been near God

And that's the way it ought to be, yeah

‘Cause you've been more than a friend to me

You fight off my enemies

‘Cause you have spoken the truth over my life

And you'll never know what it means to me

Just to know you've been on your knees for me

Oh, you have blessed my life

More than you'll ever know

You Move Me

"Oh but You move me.

You give me courage I didn't know I had.

You move me on

I can't go with You and stay where I am

So You move me on."

I was laying in bed last night thinking about all that has transpired over the past few weeks and this song came to my mind.  I have not thought of or heard this song in a long time, but it seems so fitting for where I am right now. 

I was also thinking about the fact that this song was on a mix tape that my friend Stacey made back in high school.  I remember her loving the words to this song.  How fitting these words are for her now, too. 

Tomorrow begins a whole new chapter of my life and I am beyond excited.  You all know me well enough to know that I am typically overwhelmed and anxious when it comes to change of any sort, but this is all such a testament to "the peace that passes understanding" because from the moment I was offered the job and assured that this was indeed where God was leading me I have not felt nervous or anxious at all (even after finding a box of dead frogs in the lab).  He is faithful.  I am blessed.  

Plans

Hello my name is Meredith and I am a planner.  I like checklists.  I like details.  I like to know what to expect.

But, faith in action requires us to step out not knowing what the plan is or any of the details. 

Haiti was a big test of faith for me.  A little over a month before the trip we changed locations and increased the trip cost by $400.  I really had to pray through whether or not I should go on this trip and I felt God continually whisper to me that this was part of the reason He led me to this trip.  Not knowing the plan is out of my comfort zone, but God doesn't always want us to be comfortable.  Leading up to the trip I heard the term "graciously flexible" at every turn.  I asked lots of questions and had others asking me questions pertaining to the trip where the response continued to be "I don't know."  And the closer we got to leaving for Haiti the more I was okay with not knowing.  I knew I was being obedient and that was all that mattered.  God knew the plans and I trusted that He was in charge. 

This test of faith has continued here at home, too.  On the trip I had some conversatoins with Ellen (our team leader) about the school she teaches at.  I was intrigued and let her know I might be interested in the future if there was ever a position available.  Eight days after I mentioned that God provided the opportunity for me to teach at Cornerstone Christian School in Woodlawn.  I had lots of questions and "what ifs", but I also had 100% faith that this was where God was leading me and the next part of His plan for me.  So, even though I don't know what to expect on August 1 when I start my new job and I don't know the details about how to teach middle school Science in an inner city school, I know that God's plans are way better than mine and I know that He's got me right where He wants me and there is no place I'd rather be.

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29:11

Break Every Chain

There is power in the name of Jesus

To break every chain

One of my favorite memories from the trip was from our first day.  We spent the afternoon in a mountain church with lots of precious kids.  As we headed back down the mountain, Davis (our leader from Global Effect) suggested that we stop at this Voodoo sacrifice tree to pray and sing some worship songs.  As I mentioned in an earlier post, 70% of Haitians practice Voodoo to some extent so it was everywhere.  We unloaded the tap tap and stood facing this tree and loudly sang "There is power in the name of Jesus to break every chain."  Then we sang "Mighty to Save".  While we were worshipping a woman came up with a bucket on her head.  She began to join us in worship by lifting her hands and swaying back and forth with the bucket still firmly planted on her head.  As we were leaving, one of our team members gave her a granola bar and a bottle of water.  She began saying something in Creole that we could not understand, so we called over one of our translators to interpret for us.  He told us that she had said, "When I woke up this morning I did not have any food and you have answered my prayer for food."  We saw her again at the mountain church the next day and as we unloaded the tap tap she came up to hug each one of us.  It was a powerful moment.

A Beautiful Mess

I saw a facebook post from one of my friends that went to Haiti with me where she described Haiti as a "beautiful mess".  I thought this was the perfect description for what I saw, heard, and experienced June 24 - July 1 in Grand Goave, Haiti.  On the flight back home I was scribbling away in my journal trying to recount each and every memory from my mission trip and I was struck by the number of contrasts I was writing about.  For example, when we arrived in Haiti we landed in the capital city, Port-au-Prince.  We had about a two hour van ride to Grand Goave where we stayed for the week.  Before the plane even touched down it was already blatantly obvious that we were in the poorest country in the western hemisphere.  As I looked out the plane window I could see "tent cities" everywhere.  These were homes made of tarps, mattress walls, sheets, scraps, etc.  On our two hour drive I was saddened by the filth and poverty that were everywhere.  There is no garbage system in Haiti so the streets are covered in large piles of trash.  I never saw a single trash can the whole trip.  But, in sharp contrast, Haiti is also one of the most beautiful places I have been.  There are huge mountains that are visible in the distance and the island is surrounded by the crystal-clear blue Carribean. 

Another drastic contrast was joy and anger.  The people of Haiti could be so kind and tender, but I also saw lots of anger and pent-up rage come out at times, even in the children.  This was especially the case when we started to serve food.  You could tell that they definitely had taken on a "survival of the fittest" mentality. 

There was pride and apathy.  Most of the people seemed to take great pride in their appearance, but they also showed apathy in their care for their surroundings by throwing trash everywhere.

In some ways Haiti seems decades behind most other countries, but in other ways they are very knowledgeable about current events, especially when it comes to pop culture.  It was so strange to have a child who lived in a tent ask if we could be their facebook friend and then want us to type our name into their cell phone.

There was also a noticeable contrast spiritually.  An estimated 70% of Haiti's population practice Voodoo.  At times our team experienced an obvious evil presence because it is so prevalent.  However, we also witnessed some of the most beautiful praise and worship of our mighty God.  It is overwhelming to hear the Haitian congregations singing with all their heart and soul to worship the same God I do.  Our first night there we were having dinner at the orphanage that served us lunch and dinner all week.  We could hear loud singing coming from the church on the premises.  When one of our translators came by I asked him what they were singing.  He said, "They are singing, 'We worship you Lord.  You are Alpha and Omega.  We worship you Lord.' "  They repeated this over and over with growing passion and praise.  It was such a beautiful moment in the midst of such an overwhelming mess.

Haiti Bound

As you all know, I am leaving tomorrow at midnight for 8 days in Haiti.  I will be traveling with 11 other people from my church.  We will be conducting VBS during the week for different groups of kids.  I am so excited to see how God will use us during this awesome adventure. 

My prayer for the week is that God will challenge, stretch, and grow me in ways that I have never been challenged, stretched, and grown before.  I want to be uncomfortable for Jesus.  I want to step out of my comfort zone and love with reckless abandon.  I want to be Christ's hands and feet as I love on people.  I want to learn more about what it means to have the heart of a servant.  I want to grow in relationships with my team members as well as my relationship with Christ.  I want to see lives changed, hearts healed, and hope restored. 

^"For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me. Then these righteous ones will reply, Lord, when did we ever see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you something to drink?  Or a stranger and show you hospitality? Or naked and give you clothing?  When did we ever see you sick or in prison and visit you?  And the King will say, I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!" - Matthew 25:35-40

Gregory

Last week I shared the link to Gregory Morris's caringbridge site.  A local news station did a story about him over the weekend.  It is such a sweet picture of his family, his faith, and the reality that he is still just an 11 year old boy facing such a nasty illness.

#4 (Camping) - Check

Last weekend I went on a camping and white water rafting trip with some friends from church.  We left Saturday morning and headed to Tennessee to raft down the Ocoee River.  We got to our campsite and set up our tents and then went to meet up with our guides to get ready to go rafting.  I had never been white water rafting before so I wasn't quite sure what to expect.  Some people said, "It's so much fun, you will love it!"  Others mentioned things like flesh-eating bacteria, falling out, flipping over, and the approximate number of people that die each year rafting this river.  I tried to ignore those people.  I was excited and maybe a little nervous when we reached the end of our bus ride and looked out to see the dam creating some major rapids right at the start.  We had a brief lesson with our fabulous guide and headed down to get in the water.  It was AWESOME!  I wanted to do it again and again. 

We rafted pretty late in the day, so we were ready for a campfire dinner when we got back.  We had hotdogs and S'mores.  We sat around the campfire and talked, laughed, played games, and just enjoyed being together.  It was all fun... until we got in the tent and tried to go to sleep.  My quilt did not provide enough padding on the rock hard ground.  I laid on the ground in the middle of 7 other girls and heard the following: "It is like a sauna in here.  I can't breathe.  Can we open the front flap?"  "NO!  It is supposed to rain and I do not want to wake up in a puddle." (Of course that was assuming we would ever actually fall asleep)  "Who is snoring?"  "I am laying on a limb.  Can we move over a little?"  "Other tents, can y'all hear us?"  "YES!  We are roughly 5 feet away from you."  "Is that rain?"  "Seriously, who is snoring?"  Needless to say I slept approximately 1 hour and then we all got up the next morning and had to attempt to take down the tents and load the car with our wet, muddy, and dirty stuff.  Which is why we were all so very glad to head to Cracker Barrel for breakfast before heading back home.  We had a great time, but I'm pretty sure we all agreed that next time there would need to be a cabin (or a Hilton) involved. 

Faith of a Child

A few days ago I found out that one of my students from this past year was recently diagnosed with Lymphoma.  He is one of the sweetest children I have had the privilege of teaching.  He often talked about his faith, how much he loves his family, and has such a kind spirit towards everyone around him.

I remember back in the fall when I was grading vocabulary tests and came across his answer that melted my heart.
Q: Recommend two things that would help a disheartened person.
A: Telling he/she it's gonna be ok or reading the Bible to them.

I was reminded of this as I was reading the journal postings on his Caring Bridge site earlier today and was not surprised when I read about his reaction to this news.  Click here to read about this amazing boy.

Please pray for Gregory and his family as they begin this journey together. 

#11 - Check

Number 11 on my 2012 list was to get a passport.  This was carried over from 2011 since I never got around to it last year.  Since I applied to go on my mission trip to Haiti, I knew I would have to have a passport.  I finally applied for it about a month ago and this past Monday it was in the mailbox when I got home.  I was soooooo excited to see it and know that I could travel anywhere now.  Can't wait to put it to use on June 23 when I head out of the country to Haiti!

We Meet Again

Many of you have heard me talking (for weeks now) about my team training for Haiti.  I found out about a month ago that we would have a full day of team training this past Saturday.  I was super excited about spending the day with my team until I read on and saw two words that stopped me in my tracks... "Ropes Course".  Are you kidding me???  Can I just have one summer where I don't have to do a ropes course to volunteer for something?  (See previous post here.)  I continued to be positive and thought maybe this ropes course would just consist of activiites where we have to use one rope, two boards, and a backpack to get our team from one side of a flat, open area to the other side.  No one has to pick me up, push me, pull me, etc.  But, God has a sense of humor and that was not going to be the case. 
We started out the morning by doing simple team building activities which allowed us to get to know each other.  We had a (questionable) lunch that is supposed to prepare us to eat whatever is set before us on our mission trip.  (Let me just say, if Haiti eats lots of raw plantains I am gonna have a hard time).  Then we hiked deep into the woods to begin the ropes course.
We started off by doing "the spider web".  I immediately piped up and claimed the bottome hole of the spider web (big and close to the ground).  Then we did an activity where we had to traverse a cable while pushing against a partner on a different cable across from us.  Next, we hiked up a hill where the above picture stood towering (and laughing) above me.  I (again) endured the awkward moments of having three men hoist my butt up while I had two brave souls pull (yank) me up and over the top of the wall.  I was determined not to give up on any of the activities and simply laughed my way through all of it.  We ended by doing a trust fall from a 5 foot high platform.  I. did. it. all. 
I loved it!  Yes, that is correct.  I loved every minute of the day!  Let me explain why...
1. I already knew 3 people in the group and had spent the morning forming connection with the other group members, so the setting was way more comfortable than before.
2. Most of our group is close to my age, unlike at camp where I was depending on wee college freshman girls or frat boys to pick me up.
3.  I was not as self-conscious about my weight this time because I am in the process of doing something about it (I have lost 34 pounds since January :)
4.  Our mission team is AWESOME!  Everyone was so encouraging, patient, kind, etc.  I cannot wait to go to Haiti with this amazing group of people!

Step Up

This past Monday I went to a step aerobics class at the gym.  With a Barbie instructor.  With too much energy.  Who likes to do planks.  I hate her.
I have been to step classes before and really enjoyed them. It is a great work-out, but this week was different. The class started out like normal. But, about 20 minutes in, Barbie tells us that we are going to do some ab work so we need to get on our mats. I envision crunches, which are bad enough, but I was sadly mistaken. Next thing I know she is yelling into her Madonna headset that we need to get into a plank. Which of course elicits a giggle from me because I know there is no way I can do a plank. She gives a less challenging option which I cling to like a life raft. We go from planks into push ups, while I utter death threats under my (shallow and labored) breath. In my mind I am thinking, "Ummm, I came for a step class... Where we stay on our feet... Upright.... Can we get back on the step now?" We finish a song and she asks if we want one more round of ab work to which I furiously shake my head. Barbie ignores me and we go for round 2. She actually sings along with the song at one point. While I gasp for air. Finally we get back up on the step and go back to business as usual. We end the class with more planks (on our sides this time) and afterwards I crawl to my car to calculate how many calories I burned. My Fitness Pal app tells me 977. I think that should be doubled, but I go with it. Think next time it would be awkward if I just stood in the back and did grapevines or box steps for the 10 minutes of planks?

Can I get an AMEN?

For all my teacher friends, please read!

What Teachers Really Want to Tell Parents

Open Hands, Open Heart

"I may be weak, but Your Spirit's strong in me.  My flesh my fail, but my God You never will.  Give me faith to trust what you say... That You're good, Your love is great.  I'm broken inside, I give you my life." - Give Me Faith - Elevation Worship

I am learning more and more that God wants every part of me, not just the parts I feel comfortable turning over to Him.  He wants to give me His strength when I am weak and mess up... again.  He wants to comfort me when I am overwhelmed.  He wants me to trust Him to provide in every area of my life.  He wants me to have faith.

He is constantly reminding me that I need to come to Him.  In my moments of frustration, I hear Him whisper, "Let me handle it.  Give it to me."  In my moments of exhaustion, I hear Him whisper, "Rest in me."  Sometimes I think He is saying, "Hey, you keep doing this on your own.  How's that workin' for ya?"  And then I remember that I have the privilege of giving it to Him.  He promises that when I come to Him broken and ready to hand over what I have been tightly clutching in my fist, He will bless my open hands.  For when my hands are finally open and releasing whatever I have been holding onto, then they are also open to receive whatever He has for me.

"Pile your troubles on God's shoulders-He'll carry your load, He'll help you out.  He'll never let good people topple into ruin." - Psalm 55:22 (MSG)

"Don't fall for that nonsense.  This is your Father you are dealing with, and He knows better than you what you need.  With a God like this loving you, you can pray very simply.  Like this: Our Father in Heaven, Reveal who You are." - Matthew 6:8-9 (MSG)

The Plan

As you know, I am on a continuous weight loss journey (this is my new catch phrase because I think of diets as temporary).  Here is the latest:

• I am co-leading a small group this semester with my friend, Kristie.  We are doing a book study of a great book called Lose It for Life.  It addresses the spiritual, emotional, and physical elements of weight loss.  So far it has been great.  We have a group of about 15 ladies that we meet with on Monday nights and God is really bringing some things out in each of us that will hopefully allow us to see lasting success that we have not been able to see before.

• I have also started trying to become a little more educated about food and how it fuels our bodies.  Which foods give us the most fuel?  What are foods that I should get rid of?  How can I change my lifestyle and not just start a new diet that will last a few months at most?  I have been doing a no flour, no sugar program, which has been good so far.  I am now moving into a whole/organic/clean approach that focuses mainly on getting rid of foods that have sugar (especially high fructose corn syrup), white flour (or any type of enriched or bleached flour).  It is geared more towards whole grains, fruits, vegetables, lean meats, nuts, etc.  I picked up Dr. Oz's book YOU: On a Diet this week for some guidance.  I have a friend that is going to follow this plan with me, so I am excited about having a buddy!  Since the start of the year I have lost about 17 pounds.  I have not seen much weight loss over the past few weeks, so I am hoping to see more results in the coming weeks because I tend to get discouraged and give up way to easy.  I had not been weighing, which I think I might go back to in order to stay focused on the right things and not just the number on the scale. 

# 8 - Check, #12 - One Check

Last weekend I was able to get away for several days with some sweet friends from school.  We headed out of town after school last Thursday and spent the weekend together in Laguna Beach, FL.  We laughed, ate, cooked, cried, talked, and overall just relaxed and soaked up each other's company.  It was fabulous and perfect timing for all of us. 

While we were there, they were kind enough to agree to help me check some things off my list.  We watched American Graffiti and wondered how it ended up on my list of movies that were "must-sees".  I think we all much preferred our nightly Madea marathon! 

Another thing on my list was to watch the sunrise, so early Sunday morning while it was still dark and cold and windy we all climbed out of bed and trooped down to the beach and waited in the dark and the wind to see the sun rise.  Well, turns out we were not facing the spot where the sun would first peek up over the horizon, but we enjoyed the scenery (and donuts that followed) nonetheless. 

The Ultimate Sacrifice

About a month ago I started reading through the Chronological Bible reading plan.  I have now read Genesis, Job, Exodus and Leviticus.  I am currently in Numbers.  I have really enjoyed reading stories that I can remember being introduced to through a felt board in Sunday School as a little girl.  Even though I have heard some of these stories hundreds of times, God has given me a fresh perspective, which just proves that His Word really is living.  I have read again about Adam and Eve, Noah and the ark, Moses leading the Israelites out of Egypt, and many other stories.  Among these stories there are also LOTS of rules, lists, guidelines, and procedures for everything imaginable (Yes, there is an entire chapter in Leviticus on bodily discharges - Leviticus 15).  There are guidelines for all types of offerings and sacrifices that are required to make atonement for sins.  Can you imagine having to go through this process every single time you sin?  Pretty sure my backyard would have to look like the picture above.  This has really opened my eyes to what a HUGE gift we have in Christ and the price He paid once and for all for our sins.  Reading the Old Testament has made me appreciate so much more what Christ did for broken, selfish, and stubborn me.

"There were many priests under the old system, for death prevented them from remaining in office. But because Jesus lives forever, his priesthood lasts forever. Therefore he is able, once and forever, to save those who come to God through him. He lives forever to intercede with God on their behalf. He is the kind of high priest we need because he is holy and blameless, unstained by sin. He has been set apart from sinners and has been given the highest place of honor in heaven. Unlike those other high priests, he does not need to offer sacrifices every day. They did this for their own sins first and then for the sins of the people. But Jesus did this once for all when he offered himself as the sacrifice for the people’s sins." - Hebrews 7:23-27

As I was typing this, one of my favorite Kari Jobe songs came on that fits so perfectly.  "What a sacrifice that saved my life, Yes the blood it is my victory."

Move Mountains

" 'You don't have enough faith,' Jesus told them. 'I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, "Move here to there," and it would move.  NOTHING would be impossible.' " - Matthew 17:20

I have heard this verse many times.  I even have a necklace with a mustard seed in it and the inscription "Faith" as a reminder of this verse, but I always thought of the mentioned mountain literally until recently.  I have been reading the book Made to Crave by Lysa TerKeurst (which I highly recommend).  The book is all about how we were made to crave (hence the title).  God put that in us for a specific reason and that is to crave more of Him, but over time we each begin to crave other things instead (relationships, success, and even food).  These overwhelming cravings become huge mountains in our path.  And in my case a well over 200 pound mountain.  I have often shared on my blog about my attempts to get back on track and get healthy, but there is always an excuse (often lame, but an excuse nonetheless). I will do well for a few weeks and then slowly slip back into old habits.  I forced myself to weigh after the start of the year.  I stepped on and off the scale at least 6 times because I was sure there was a glitch on the screen.  "There is NO way that is accurate."  "The most I have ever weighed is almost 20 pounds less than this atrocious number!"  "How in the world did this happen?  I mean, I know I ate my weight in oreo balls over Christmas, but c'mon!" 

Hello, rock bottom.  Nice to meet you.

It just so happened that this horrifying moment coincided with the start of my church's 21 days of prayer and fasting.  I participated in the 21 days of prayer back in August, but I have never done any type of fast (obviously).  I prayed about what I should fast during this time and was led to participate in the Daniel Fast.  Food had become too much of an issue for me, so it was time for me to deal with that.  I decided that in order to deal with this "mountain" I needed to fully sacrifice this issue to God, which had always seemed a little silly to me.  But I have learned that God wants to be a part of EVERY area of my life (no matter how big or small)  and so with open hands I came to him and turned this (huge) mountain over to Him with the faith that with Him I will succeed in dealing with this longtime struggle.  We all have mountains in our path that seem overwhelming to get past, but I think my problem is that I see the mountain of my weight and think "There is absolutely no way I can get up and over this mountain.  I have tried so many times and end up right back at the bottom.  And this time the mountain is higher than it has ever been before."  But God says, "You don't have to scale this mountain.  If you put your faith in me and press into me for strength and self control and perseverance, I'm gonna move that bad boy out of your way!"  Uhm, hello... that is AWESOME! 

Ok, Faithful Father, I'm really ready this time.  Let's do this!  I am declaring that 2012 will be the year that mountains are moved in my life and I am praying that you will ask God to move your mountain, too!

Updated LIST for 2012

As you know, I started off 2011 by creating a list of 30 things I wanted to do before I turned 30.  I worked through about half of my list, so I am just going to "roll-over" the other half and add a few other things to my list for this year.  Here goes:
1. Shoot a gun
2. Skydive
3. 5 Random Acts of Kindness
4. Camping
5. Sewing
6. Zip Line
7. Ski (Water or Snow)
8. Watch the sun rise
9. Ride a motorcycle
10. Redo my kitchen floor
11. Get a passport
12. Watch the following movies: Citizen Kane, Ghost, Gone with the Wind, and American Graffiti
NEW 13. Read through the Bible
NEW 14. Learn about politics and become educated about what is going on around the world
NEW 15. Travel somewhere new

Death by Frogs

So, if you don't already know this about me, I am deathly afraid of frogs.  I have no idea why.  I wish I could tell you that I once saw someone die in front of me from the touch of a poisonous dart frog or some equally awful story to explain this incredily irrational fear, but I got nothin'.  They completely freak me out.  The only way I manage to maintain my cool for frog dissection day at school is the fact that they are dead.  But it definitely still presents a challenge for me where I am forced to go to my happy place for that 45 minutes out of the school year. 
So anyway, I started reading the chronological Bible plan from youversion.com.  I actually have the app on my phone which is awesome because I can just pull it up at any point and read through the daily reading.  I am in Exodus now and was reading on Friday about the ten plagues that hit Egypt because Pharaoh refused to let the Israelites go free.  I have heard this story lots over the past 30 years, but really the only plague I could remember was the locusts (which was the 8th one in case you were wondering), so I was filled with complete horror when I started reading about the 2nd plague. 

"1 God said to Moses, "Go to Pharaoh and tell him, 'God's Message: Release my people so they can worship me.2 If you refuse to release them, I'm warning you, I'll hit the whole country with frogs.3 The Nile will swarm with frogs-they'll come up into your houses, into your bedrooms and into your beds, into your servants' quarters, among the people, into your ovens and pots and pans.4 They'll be all over you, all over everyone-frogs everywhere, on and in everything!'"  - Exodus 8:1-4 (MSG)

What?!?!?!?!  No way!  See, even God knew they were evil little things that should be used to torture people.  All I could think was that God could have saved Himself a lot of time had I been in Pharaoh's sandals.  There would have been no need for the next 8 plagues because I would have given in after the first frog was found in my bed.

Quotes of the Week

As you know, I teach fifth grade.  Fifth graders can be quite entertaining at times.  Here are a few quotes from my classroom this past week:

Student A: "I have a basketball game tomorrow."
Student B: "I didn't know you played basketball.  What position do you play?"
Student A:  "Running back."
Ms. Meadows: "Hmmmm... Pretty sure that's not right."

Ms. Meadows: "Can someone create a new word by adding a prefix to the word 'able' "
Student: "Fable"

Student A to Student B: "Dude, you're growin a mustache."
Student B: "No I ain't."
Student A: "Yes you are.  That mustache is comin'."

Square Peg in a Round Hole

That is the best description I can come up with for my experience this afternoon.  I have had off and on pain in my neck for a few years now.  My dad has a history of neck issues and has had surgery to correct bulging discs, so I wanted to get things checked out to be on the safe side.  About a month ago I called and made an appointment with a neurologist.  I met with him two weeks ago and he ordered an MRI.  I went in this afternoon to have this done and will meet with him tomorrow to get the results.  No big deal, right?  HA.... Little did I know.  I thought I would show up, lay down, have them do a quick scan of my neck and be on my merry way, but as most things turn out for me, what I expected was not at all what happened.  First of all, I was escorted by a nurse back to a small room where she instructed me to get undressed.  "Uhmmm, hold up. I am here for an MRI.  I think you have the wrong person."  Before I could say this, she handed me a pair of scrubs to put on and then told me to leave all of my belongings in the locker and then take a seat in the maroon wheelchair at the end of the hallway.  "Again, I am here to have an MRI.  Is there a reason why I would need to be seated in a wheelchair?"  I followed her instructions and took my seat in the wheelchair and waited for the technician to come get me.  While I was sitting there I started thinking, "She did tell me to take my bra off, right?  Why are there needles on this table next to me?  Have these scrubs been washed?"  Terry, the technician, comes out and informs me that my doctor has ordered some of the scans to be done with contrast, so she will need to give me an IV.  "For the love!  I am here to have an MRI.  Why didn't someone inform me that I would have to strip down, put on questionable scrubs, and then get a needle jabbed in my arm?"  I am 30 years old.  I am 6 feet tall.  I ain't no tiny girl, but when it comes to needles I suddenly convert to a 3 year old.  So far, this whole breeze in, lay down, breeze out plan of mine was not happening.  Terry finishes jabbing me and leads me into the room with the previously mentioned "round hole" that the "square peg" (otherwise known as my 6 foot body) would soon be rammed into, kind of like a cannonball.  Terry ushers me over to the table and tells me to lay down on my back.  She then informs me that the machine is quite loud and gives me some earplugs to wear.  She puts some cushions on either side of my head to hold it in place and then tells me that when I hear the machine running the scans I need to try not to swallow, clear my throat, or move at all.  "Uhm, okay.  Hey, Terry, you're kinda starting to freak me out a little."  Breathe in, breathe out.  Then she places a metal shield over my face (which of course in my mind looks like the mask Hannibal Lecter is forced to wear) and then tells me she is going to slide me into the machine.  First she hooks a chord to my questionable scrub pants and tells me that if at any time I think I need out I just have to push the button.  She slides the table in (and by slides, I mean rams Spongebob Square Merts into the cannon).  As she is pushing (ramming) me in, she casually informs me that my arms will be touching the side of the machine (cannon).  I open my eyes to see the top of the machine roughly .002 mm from my face.  I am pretty sure I could have kissed it had it not been for my Hannibal mask.  I hear the machine cut on and give it about 3 seconds before I begin frantically pushing my "emergency evacuation" button.  I break out in a sweat and feel like if Terry doesn't get me out of the cannon stat I am going to suffocate.  Terry comes over the speaker and asks if I'm okay.  "Uhm, NO!  No, I am most certainly not okay."  She pulls me out and removes my Hannibal mask.  I gulp air and begin to plan my escape, but Terry is not willing to let me go without a fight.  She finally convinces me that I can do it.  She turns on a fan at the other end of the machine and gets me set to go back into the cannon.  I take deep breaths and then declare that I can do this.  It is 22 minutes.  I can do it.  I squeeze my eyes shut and she slides (rams) me back in.  About halfway through I squint out of one eye and quickly realize that the key to my successful MRI is keeping my eyes closed.  And the next thing I know, it's over.  Terry comes in and pulls me out of the cannon, yanks the tape off my arm, slides the IV out, and sends me back to my changing room.  I get changed  and stagger out of the office wondering what Terry might be blogging about tonight.

"Real"ationship

"And now, just as you accepted Christ Jesus as your Lord, you must continue to follow Him. Let your roots grow down into Him, and let your lives be built on Him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness." - Colossians 2:6-7

I became a Christian when I was 8 years old. I remember that Sunday well. I had my Jem Barbie doll with me and clung to her as I walked to the front of the church to tell Brother Mickey that I was ready to be baptized. (I am pretty sure that a large part of this decision was influenced by the fact that my older sister had made this decision recently and I didn't want to be left out.) I stood at the front of the church and got lots of handshakes and hugs after the service and a few weeks later I stepped foot into the baptismal and made my public profession of faith before getting dunked. I had prayed the prayer of salvation and been baptized, which in my 8 year old mind was all I needed to do.

But this thinking lacked roots and a foundation on him. Instead, over the next several years, God was a part of my life, but not necessarily the foundation that I built everything else on.

Over the past 22 years God has brought different people and experiences into my life that have shown me that yes, I was saved, but there was so much more He wanted for me to have. He wanted a relationship with me. He wanted me to have an amazing testimony of things that could only be explained by His power.

I could share lots of stories with you of some of these people or experiences, but that would take way too long, so I will just focus on this past year. About two years ago I went through a bit of an emotional come-apart. I was depressed and broken-hearted. It was during that time that I pulled out my Bible and clung to God's promises that He loved me unconditionally and had a "peace that passes all understanding" for me. This time was difficult for me, but I wouldn't trade it for anything because it ignited a new fire in my heart to become closer to Jesus and to experience a true relationship with Him. Fast forward a year and I was kicking off 2011 with a desire to see God move in my life.

Over the past year God has used several new friends in my life to draw me closer to Him. I began asking God some hard questions (What does true faith and trust and dependence on You look like? How can I ask for the desires of my heart without knowing if You will fulfill those desires?) and really seeking the answers in His word. In all of my searching I simply felt God whispering to me, "Come closer. Press into me. I have something so beautiful planned for you." And in that process God really started to change the desires of my heart. I now come to Him and say, "I want what You want," whereas before that totally freaked me out. What if He wanted me to be single for the rest of my life? What if He wanted me to move somewhere scary by myself and be a missionary? What if He wanted me to do the impossible? When my mind swirled with these anxious thoughts, He would again whisper to me, "Trust and obey. Have I not been faithful? From my vantage point I can see what's coming, and even if you don't think you can handle it, I know you can and I will be with you every step of the way."

I have been challenged, convicted, and encouraged over the past year in ways that I never have before. I have begun to experience a "real"ationship with God that is full of grace and love and excitement. I have planted those roots in Him and made Him my foundation. The amazing ways that God moved in my life during 2011 only causes me to wait expectantly for what He has in store for 2012.

"In the morning, Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly." - Psalm 5:3

Trust and Obey

What would you do if you were 18 and felt God calling you to spend a year in Uganda?

What would you do if you were a young girl living in Uganda and felt God calling you to build your life there?

What if you were 21 and now a mother of 13 girls?

What if...