The Do's and Don'ts of Online Dating

Yes, I realize that the title of this post makes it sound like I am an expert, which I most certainly am not. In fact for some reason lately I keep hearing the songs "Oops, I Did It Again" and "I Want You to Want Me" playing in a loop in my head. Not sure what that means, but I am pretty certain it's not a good thing. And actually I guess this post is really more about the "Don'ts" of online dating than the "Do's" since I obviously haven't figured out the "Do's" quite yet.

As far as online dating goes, here are some tips:
1. Don't post pictures from 10 years ago. You look nothing like you used to.
2. Don't say you are looking for a great Christian girl that is close to her family if you really mean you are looking for a quick hookup.
3. Don't post pictures that you had professionally done... that's just creepy.
4. Don't tell people that you are in a bowling league.
5. If you cannot legally drink yet, please do not email me.
6. If you are closer in age to my dad than me, please do not email me.
7. If you are half a foot shorter than me, please do not email me.
8. Do not post a picture where you are wearing a Garth Brooks cast-off and posing next to a tractor.
9. I think that these guys should come with labels. For example, "Tool", "Player", "Weirdo", "Nice, Normal Guy", "Married", "Possibly Gay", etc.
10. If your idea of a fun night is a Star Trek marathon, please do not email me.

Online dating can be extremely discouraging, especially when you open your email to see that someone has requested communication with you. You get excited and think, "Oh maybe this guy will be great!" Then you open your email to find this waiting for you...