What Not to Wear

As a teacher I am constantly amazed at what some parents allow their children to wear to school. Since I teach at an elementary school our dress code is pretty laid back, but this time of the year we start to see more questionable choices as many fifth grade girls follow in the footsteps of Miley and Britney and decide to show more skin. The other day I had to tell one girl that her cut-off denim shorts were way too short. I also wanted to ask why she thought they went well with her Ugg boots and neon yellow t-shirt. There are also several girls that have recently started wearing Converse knee-high boots that lace up. These remind me more of something that Jack Black probably wore in Nacho Libre. There are always some kids who wear shorts year round, even in the dead of winter, and there are others who will wear their North Face fleece jacket, even when they have the sleeves pushed up to their armpits and are leaving a trail of sweat behind them.
My two favorite t-shirts I have seen at school lately read, "Hold my headgear while I kiss your girlfriend" and "ITAPPA KEGGA". The second child explained to his teacher that his shirt was for a fraternity. She kindly explained that the shirt was not from a fraternity (maybe for one of their favorite past times), and should not be worn again.
Now, as a disclaimer, I made plenty of questionable fashion choices throughout my school years. I once tried to start a new trend by wearing a fishing vest to school. Sadly no one followed in my footsteps. I always had a hard time finding pants and shoes seeing as I am 6 feet tall with size 12 feet. I was wearing capris long before capris were cool, thanks to a few too many pairs of pants that took a trip through the drier, but stirrup pants were great because I could always stretch them out to be long enough (even if this caused the crotch to be down at my knees). I also wore way too much silk, ruffles, ruffled silk, flannel, crocheted fabrics, vests, etc. I am sure that if Stacey and Clinton had seen me in 7th grade they would have died of laughter or sheer embarrassment on my behalf.