Shows That Should Retire

I am currently watching the finale of American Idol. I have not watched a single episode this year, but I am wondering how in the world some of these people made it past their initial audition in some stadium in Oklahoma. My ears are actually bleeding from their tone deaf attempt at a once popular song. This has made me realize that all of the talented singers in America have been on one of the other 724 seasons and it is now time for the show to retire. Simon is leaving, so really who will be left to tell some of these clueless freakshows that not only can they not sing, but they really should ask permission before leaving the mental hospital they came from.

So, along with American Idol, here are a few others that should quit while they are ahead:
1. Anything that involves Heidi and Spencer (If you do not know who I am talking about, consider yourself incredibly lucky)
2. Any one of the 38 versions of Law and Order.
3. The Bachelor/Bachelorette: I used to watch every single season, but now it is way too scripted. Surely these skanky losers are acting.
4. Toddlers and Tiaras: The previews enrage me, so I have never actually watched an episode. Did we not all learn a lesson from Jon Benet? Must we exploit these spoiled little kids and their overweight redneck moms that are living vicariously through them? If you are not potty trained, should you really be wearing more mascara than Tammy Faye?
5. The Simpsons: I have never understood what is so entertaining about this show. The kid has jagged hair and says "Eat my shorts" and you would think it was the funniest thing ever.
6. Nancy Grace: "Natalee Holloway, where arrrre youuu? Her voice grates on my nerves somethin' fierce.

I will now stop venting and allow you to return to your regularly scheduled programming!